Food For Thought!

Well, what an interesting week....   I wont report on positions, courses or sailing matters as I am aware that Don is reporting on this and therefore don't wish to duplicate.  Having said that, Don has been hit with a dose of gout today, started at 7am this morning, seems this delightful diet is just not too good for him, as a result he has had to drink four liters of water today, dose up on medicine and everything seems to be settling down, it does leave a question on his diet moving forward but will leave Don to report on that.

I always knew the diet (or lack of) would be the biggest challenge and this has proved to be the case, I have experienced two major blows as a result of food deprivation, the first at Tofua Island and then at Naighai Island after the knock down.  It was sudden and left me disoriented, I found myself isolating from the others and my mind set became very negative, I could only see the doom....  and this is not good, while repacking the food after our knockdown I became depressed when I realized we really would be living on Corned Beef for over 60% of the time, not just corned beef, but the worst I have ever tasted, saturated in salt, it really smelt, looked and tasted like cat food.  Unlike the two old salty sea dogs here, I seem unable to convince myself that dog poo can actually be a delight to eat...  I spoke with Don, expressed my concern and said I would like to secure some edible provisions, which I believed were available the other side of the island.  He declined... What a pettle...   I slept on the matter and awoke in the morning deciding I was to leave the expedition, return to my children in Hong Kong and within a few days I could be with them, flicking the channels while discussing the adventure I had  walked away from.  I could see no alternative, I really did not believe I could survive on the provisions, I was already weak, extremely hungry and miserable.  I told Don and the crew of my decision and Don as expected handled it very professionally, he did not try to convince me either way, discussed the reasons and suggested I thought on it for an hour and then let him know...  I was out and what a relief....

I walked up the beach, sat alone and thought long and hard, I recalled how I had felt like this in Tofua and that 24 hours later I was fine, I realized I had completely mismanaged my foot intake, I had not been eating the sea survival biscuits, instead storing them as if a good meal lay ahead, my sudden mood change I realized was simply food deprivation, of my own doing...  I thought about some of the difficulties I had faced in the past, to now be beaten by a tin of corned beef seemed so sad, I thought about my daughters, if they had sunk so much of themselves into a project and were going to give in, then sort my advice, would I just say, "thats OK, just walk away"  I hope not!  I returned to the crew, explained to Don that I wished to continue, he discussed the reasons why, his concern was that I may be trying to avoid letting the rest of the crew down, it wasn't even part of my consideration, this was personal, much more personal....  As we sailed during the next few nights, at one time with dolphins following us for an hour, I shed a private tear, grateful that I had found the courage to continue.  I now manage my food intake very carefully and force feed myself sea survival biscuits at least every two hours.  Don't misunderstand me, they are still disgusting and I cant eat the sodding corned beef (as it dehydrates me) but I am eating sufficient to keep myself going.  Its tuff! The water is now limited to 1 liter per day, I am managing on this, but know I will struggle on less, we have had no rain so this is possible.

The mackerel caught by Don was delicious, this lifted my spirits very much, but again, I was surprised how much this dehydrated me a lot.  Still, it was worth it....

When I get really hungry, which is 75% of the time I try and think of those people in countries of famine and this seems to give me the gratitude I prefer.

We have been becalmed for another day now, yawn...  swimming has been a welcome break.... so has being able to submerge yourself in the water for number 2's...

All the crew seem to be getting along fine, though there are moments...  I am learning more about my own character defects, which is frustrating and irritating...  I never realized how grumpy I can be when I am tired, ( I can hear those who know me laugh) I had to apologise to Chris the other morning for ripping his head off for not vacating the bunk within 2 minutes after my 2-6am watch had finished.  I find Don and David Q amusing characters, sometimes I think they are straight from an adventure novel, I mean it respectfully, they are fascinating characters.  Mostly, they do stuff, like men used too, stuff that I watch and think, why can't I do that, for example, we had leaks on the lee cloth, two bits of wood, bit of old sail and rope, needle and thread they made covers to tie on, its simple with hindsight, but definitely a skill....

That's all for me this week, its an adventure for sure, and i am glad to be part of it...  1 secret....  In my Tilley hat there is a hiding place for keeping $100 in case of an emergency, I have stored in there 4 tea bags, two breakfast and two Earle Grey, oh I dream of arriving in Kupang, finding the nearest kettle and making myself a lovely cuppa tea, incidentally I have two hidden in my life jacket too, never be caught short where a cuppa tea is concerned....

Private Message - Lucinda and Isabelle, almost 25% of the way, becalmed, 360 degree view of water horizons, its really beautiful, dolphins have been following us at night, its very special, but I am missing you both very much and don't wish to be away from you for this long again...  I love you both x Dad